Learning to Trust God Every Step of the Way
This month, this time of year for me is not unlike the previous ones, except that lately I find myself surrounded by and tiptoeing through a mine field. One that has been filled with uncertainty and fear, shaken trust and a deep desire to run head long into my “I am in control”, “I can find a solution to this”, and “I will do whatever it takes to make it happen”. The only problem with that kind of thinking is it is me-centered and not Christ-centered. I want to be in control instead of putting God in control. What happens next can be dangerous. Every step of my choosing I put myself at risk that something may potentially blow up in my face. I stood in the midst of this unfathomable mine field and had nowhere to look for help and rescue, except up. So in despair, I threw my hands up and said “why Father; what do you want from me?” That was yesterday.
It is early this morning, as I sit in my favourite chair where I feel the warmth of the sun, and I am totally amazed by the colourful sunrise that He, God himself had splashed across the sky just for me. I take in the beauty of the potted flowers on my balcony; their unturned heads in praise to their creator…it was magical and peaceful…all of this in contrast to the day I had yesterday, wasted time filled with anxiety and tears; trying to find a solution, silently pleading for the answer to come….but it did not…or so it seemed. Once again I was walking through the mine field but this time it was in my thoughts. Turning to the wrong thinking would be like stepping into dangerous territory. Instead I woke to the sense that He, my Father was calling me, urging me, beckoning me to a place by the still waters, to sit for a while and have a conversation with Him. I must admit that most mornings I quickly rush through some form of meditation with my daily devotion, looking for a word to carry me through the day, something from The Word to satisfy the emptiness I feel at times. The only problem is I am not seeking Him with my whole heart; running into His arms of love and a placing at the feet of His throne, dropping into His caring, nurturing hands my day. It really is okay to give back to Him that which He has given me…to hand over my day to my Father God and watch what He will do with it; in it. It is a matter of trust and surrender.
If I am honest, those next few precious moments spent with my Abba Father were heart wrenching. I had to surrender to Him that which I wanted to control and give Him “carte blanche” to take it and in His time and will bring whatever out of it is His choosing. I confessed and repented for not trusting Him, I let forgiveness flow, poured out prayers of safety, peace and protection for loved ones. I cried it out, prayed it out and never once pleaded with my Father. No…instead I drank in His love and forgiveness, His undeniable peace, His assurance that the battle truly does belong to Him. I repeated back to Him, His word found in Jeremiah 29:13-14 which says, when I seek Him with my whole heart He will be found and will bring me out of captivity. I chose to stand on Joshua 1:9 which instructs me to be strong and courageous. I treasure up Proverbs 3:5-6 as it reminds me to trust in the Lord with all my heart, and not lean on my own understanding, and in all my ways acknowledge Him and He (not me) will direct my path. Numbers 6:25 filled me with joy as I read that the Lord makes His face to shine upon me and to be gracious unto me. He lifts up His countenance upon me and gives me His peace. When I looked up countenance one of the definitions that is listed is, His provision. I have learned through my tears this morning that surrender is costly, it means you have to give EVERYTHING, that you want to hold so tightly to and trust that He who is faithful will turn what looks like a very bad situation around for good, for His glory. The weeping lasted for a night, but joy …. pure joy comes in the morning, Psalm 30:5b.
So today is a fresh day; this is the day the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it, Psalm 118:24, and all the days to come. Where is that mine field you might ask? I have placed it in the hands of the Faithful One. And when the enemy of my soul whispers in my ear that He has forgotten me, I will remember what my Abba said to me this morning…”I have this one.” “I will take care of you.”
He is the Lord of your mine field. Trust Him to extricate you, to lift you up in His mighty hands and to bring you to a place of peace and safety, even when you don’t know what will happen next. I am not God and I am not in control…He is! The battle belongs to my Father, and it is not over yet … not until He says it is. Once again I am secure in the knowledge that He will not leave me or forsake, and He will take care of every need I have. The really cool thing is that our God is a generous Provider, and will always give us more than we ever pray for, hope for, even imagine! Amen?
This is my prayer for you and for me:
“Lord Jesus I thank you for this amazing day and all that you have for me in it.” I choose to keep my eyes on you and to find my peace and calm in you. I seek your kingdom and your righteousness precious Jesus. Overwhelm me today Lord with your goodness…. I am so in love with you!